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August 15, 2019

I wish I wasn't so fragile. I'm here sitting at my desk crying because of how stressed I am. Work, family, boyfriend, it's all coming down at once and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I'm so caught off guard by the sudden change in mood that I almost freeze up. My therapist said that if I feel like I'm falling into a hole I should get up and walk around, that I shouldn't stay alone. I did just that and found myself with a colleague turned friend and started talking to her about what I was feeling. I wish I could send these feelings away. 
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August 11, 2019

- so I've decided to start a blog. I know how this must look, especially since the blogging scene is something that I associate with the early 2000s. But here I am. WHY? -- it's a way for me to process. I've been trying to think of a way to tell people what I'm thinking, with the benefit of being behind a screen. I've tried traditional journaling and to no avail. Something about being able to let people read your deepest thoughts with out it being linked to you is impossible with a journal. Enter blogger and here we are, finally able to send this out to the web and remain somewhat incognito.   -   Today I remained lazy... Something I'm used to but also trying to break. During the week I'm a 8-4 worker, but the weekends -- usually jam packed with seeing the other half, but sometimes separate. This is one of those weekends. I've been working on some attachment issues with my therapist and part of that is remaining independent while balancing some code...
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